Last Spring my 14 year old daughter decided to do track. She didn't just do something easy like the 200 m dash like most of the other Freshman. She decided to do the hurdles, both the 100 m and the 300 m. The hurdles look scary to me, I don't think I'd ever even try them. But she tried them and she practiced and she worked hard and she fell down and got scraped up. But EVERY SINGLE TIME she stood back up and either started the practice run over or finished the race. She was such an inspiration to me at the time and she still is today.
I feel like this depression and anxiety disease is much the same way. I fall down often. I get scraped up and hurt. And EVERY SINGLE TIME I have got up and continued my fight. Sometimes getting up is hard. Sometimes it's harder than what I can do on my own. So, what do I do during those times? Ask for help.
Asking for help is a hard thing and often I don't even know what it is that I need. But the last time I was in the hospital (yes, I've been hospitalized for my depression- that story will be coming) I came up with an easier way to ask for help. I made a list of my "people", the people I trust, people who are physically close, people who aren't relatives (relatives deal with me a lot anyway) and people who I know, without a doubt, love me. I set up a group text and when I need something I just shoot out one text. Whoever is available responds and offers what they can. Sometimes just getting a text back is helpful, sometimes a walk is suggested and sometimes it's a talk. This has been a great thing for me, I don't have to worry that the person might be busy or not want to deal with me that day. Plus by having a group text the others know that I've been taken care of. I'll admit this isn't fool proof, how can it be when a fool is on this end??? But it's pretty good, I just have to have the energy or desire to type that text. Sometimes that takes a lot but if I do, I know there will be someone there. For those true friends I am grateful!
Speaking of energy- sometimes getting out of bed is an almost impossibility for me. I decided while I was in the hospital that everyday I would get myself out of bed and get dressed for the day. I'll admit, some days that's all I have. Some days getting out of bed and dressed is an accomplishment. But I've noticed that if I'm dressed for the day, even if I'm laying back in my bed, things are better. If someone needs me I can respond. If someone drops by I don't feel stupid. Getting dressed helps just that tiny bit. And if I put on a really fabulous necklace, life feels that much better!
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